Weil das verblüffend exakt beobachtet und so liebevoll wie respektlos aufgeschrieben ist, gehört sein Buch Wie man Deutscher wird in 50 einfachen Schritten zum Amüsantesten, was die Aufzählungsliteratur in den vergangenen Jahren hervorgebracht hat.
Der beste Beitrag zur Klärung der Frage, warum uns die Briten nach Jahrzehnten hingebungsvoll gepflegter Feindschaft plötzlich so mögen: wegen unserer direkten Art.
...solltet ihr unbedingt lesen, wenn ihr nach Deutschland ziehen wollt.
Here is a video of me reading from the book
Let's look inside
Not only does the book contain words of an interesting and amusing nature but it also has pictures! Yes, pictures! By none other than Romibello, my usual partner in artistic crime.
All 50 steps are illustrated, here are some of the new topics that were not in the original online series: Fireworks, Dinner for one, Denglisch, Mahlzeit, Kartoffelsalat, GEMA and the GEZ, Spiegel Online, Bio, Following rules, Humour, Fenster auf Kipp, Schwarzfahren and many more.
- 25 completely new steps
- Beautifully illustrated
- All 50 steps in both English and German, across 140 pages, perfect for language learners & polyglots.
Example step - 45. Travel Seriously
Well, I’d say you’ve worked so hard fitting in, it’s time you take a little break. How about a foreign holiday? Sadly, travelling with/as a German is also problematic. If you’re going to behave correctly, oh cultural explorer, you’ve much to learn. See, new land = new risks. The first step of the German Projekt Urlaub is to understand the potential hazards of this foreign land and ensure they are negated through extensive insurances and proper travel equipment. Even a weekend excursion to the Baltic Sea may require the use of high tech hiking footwear with special soles, zip off trousers, a drink canister, and a lot of those special hook things that climbers use. Maps must be printed. Routes planned. Backup routes found. Backup backup routes found.
On arrival in more distant lands Germans are often disappointed when they see these countries are just not run efficiently. Their disapproval will manifest in sentences like "they said the bus would leave at 6 p. m. It's 6:15 p. m. already. Typisch!", “A bathroom this badly ventilated is just a magnet for mould", or "Is a simple split bill just too much to ask from these people?"
Germans abroad are part traveller, part Techniküberprüfungs-employee, tallying health and safety violations with their eyes, marking off locations of emergency exits and toilets. Arriving at a restaurant you'll see them mentally arranging the furniture with their eyes for optimum Fluss (flow). Travelling is a little bit about getting to use all of the various foreign languages they know, but mostly an opportunity to be reminded first-hand about just how much better everything already is in Germany.
You can read more steps in the original article series.